Looking up ‘right’ in the dictionary, one will find nearly forty definitions of the word, which acts as an adjective, noun, verb, and adverb. Some examples of usage are the following:
1. being in accordance with what is just, good, or proper
2. conforming to facts or truth
3. qualities that together constitute the ideal of moral propriety or merit moral approval
4. something to which one has a just claim
5. to do justice to : redress the injuries of.
***
There are some questions of morality that cannot be answered, despite the dedication of endless inquiry, research, discussion, courses, books, and articles. For centuries philosophers have attempted to define morality – Is it relative? Is it cultural? Is it universal? Is it based on the aggregate benefit or harm? From Plato to Aristotle and Locke to Milton, one thing is clear: when it comes to morality, there are many opinions.
One of my favorite movies is Gone Baby Gone because it explores a question of morality so profound it splits the bond between two people who are otherwise deeply in love. The movie looks at the ethics of who should raise a child, parent-child bonds, and whether or not the right result can arise from wrong actions.
After I became engaged to be married, I asked a close friend of mine to meet me so I could tell him the news. I sat across from him in a booth in a pizza place in the Short North neighborhood of Columbus, an area known for its LGBT population. I lowered my eyes, and I apologized. I told him I was sorry that I was about to exercise a civil right that he would be denied if he were in the same position. I felt as if I was sitting at the ‘Whites Only’counter, sipping an orange soda while he fought to get inside.
But my friend took my hand in his, squeezed it, and assured me he would never begrudge me love.
The institution of marriage has significantly evolved over the past centuries. It has been used as a means to ascertain paternal linkages, a property contract, and a playing piece between the church and British feudal government. Today, remnants of its history can be found in its modern-day purposes: to protect children and the moral fabric of society.
Nonetheless, legal arguments of politicians and court justices skirt the latter purpose. This is a disingenuous approach that prevents meaningful discussion about what is at the heart of the issue: how we as a society deal with differing moral opinions.
Another close friend of mine is a conservative republican, a devout Catholic, and he is against gay marriage. He is not immoral, evil or wrong. Nor does he cast me as such. We have a mutual understanding that both our opinions are born from the desire to see the best in others and our nation; yet we simply have different beliefs as how to accomplish that goal.
Is porn immoral? Gambling? Is slavery immoral? Is stem cell research? How about inter-racial marriage?
At different points in history the answers would be quite different from today. And even now there is a wide variance. Yet, some questions have been settled by the law and some have not.
Porn and inter-racial marriage are legal and slavery is not.
The courts decide when it is appropriate to define morality by balancing the state’s interest against the private interest: i.e. society versus the individual. Moreover, the state must show there are no less intrusive ways of accomplishing its goals.
However, when the state interest is morality itself, as in the instances of porn or gay marriage, there is an obvious problem: what is the origin of the government’s moral standard? In the case of gay marriage, the source is certainly not public opinion, since polls show that 58% of Americans now believe that gay marriage should be permitted.
Since it is a fallacy of rationale to site a moral edict as the reason for the edict itself, those against gay marriage focus their arguments on the protection of children.
However, the problem with the argument is that there is no evidence that heterosexual couples do a better job of raising children. Thus, it seems to be a backdoor suggestion that gay marriage exposes children to immorality.
The individual interest, on the other hand is compelling. The very personal matters of love, sex, and commitment free from the legislature’s gaze are all at stake here -- not to mention equal treatment under the law.
The legal basis of permitting gay marriage, once it is separated from morality, is clear.
***
I find porn to be disgusting and harmful to relationships. I believe The Bachelor degrades marriage; and I think cheating spouses are cowards. However, I don’t expect Hustler or sleazy reality shows to be banned; nor do I want cheating spouses to be put in jail.
I do not want restrictive laws that erode people’s rights, but I also do not want America to degenerate into Sin City.
So if the law is not the proper means, how should we as a society deal with morality?
The founders have separated church and state with good reason, but they have also provided a safeguard to keep our country on a moral path.
Free speech.
Our responsibility as citizens is to express our opinions about right and wrong. More importantly, each one of us must strive to embody the love, compassion and understanding that are the bases of all moral codes. We should allow others freedom to be who they are and believe what they will, instead of constraining them with our own subjective moral bonds.
***
In Gone Baby Gone, the detective and his girlfriend were both wrong, not because of their opinions, but because of their lack of understanding of the other’s. They forgot that while values may differ true morality is found in the love and respect we give one another despite those differences.
My friend from the pizza parlor and my conservative Catholic friend have both reminded me of an important moral lesson.
Love is right.
1. being in accordance with what is just, good, or proper
2. conforming to facts or truth
3. qualities that together constitute the ideal of moral propriety or merit moral approval
4. something to which one has a just claim
5. to do justice to : redress the injuries of.
***
There are some questions of morality that cannot be answered, despite the dedication of endless inquiry, research, discussion, courses, books, and articles. For centuries philosophers have attempted to define morality – Is it relative? Is it cultural? Is it universal? Is it based on the aggregate benefit or harm? From Plato to Aristotle and Locke to Milton, one thing is clear: when it comes to morality, there are many opinions.
One of my favorite movies is Gone Baby Gone because it explores a question of morality so profound it splits the bond between two people who are otherwise deeply in love. The movie looks at the ethics of who should raise a child, parent-child bonds, and whether or not the right result can arise from wrong actions.
After I became engaged to be married, I asked a close friend of mine to meet me so I could tell him the news. I sat across from him in a booth in a pizza place in the Short North neighborhood of Columbus, an area known for its LGBT population. I lowered my eyes, and I apologized. I told him I was sorry that I was about to exercise a civil right that he would be denied if he were in the same position. I felt as if I was sitting at the ‘Whites Only’counter, sipping an orange soda while he fought to get inside.
But my friend took my hand in his, squeezed it, and assured me he would never begrudge me love.
The institution of marriage has significantly evolved over the past centuries. It has been used as a means to ascertain paternal linkages, a property contract, and a playing piece between the church and British feudal government. Today, remnants of its history can be found in its modern-day purposes: to protect children and the moral fabric of society.
Nonetheless, legal arguments of politicians and court justices skirt the latter purpose. This is a disingenuous approach that prevents meaningful discussion about what is at the heart of the issue: how we as a society deal with differing moral opinions.
Another close friend of mine is a conservative republican, a devout Catholic, and he is against gay marriage. He is not immoral, evil or wrong. Nor does he cast me as such. We have a mutual understanding that both our opinions are born from the desire to see the best in others and our nation; yet we simply have different beliefs as how to accomplish that goal.
Is porn immoral? Gambling? Is slavery immoral? Is stem cell research? How about inter-racial marriage?
At different points in history the answers would be quite different from today. And even now there is a wide variance. Yet, some questions have been settled by the law and some have not.
Porn and inter-racial marriage are legal and slavery is not.
The courts decide when it is appropriate to define morality by balancing the state’s interest against the private interest: i.e. society versus the individual. Moreover, the state must show there are no less intrusive ways of accomplishing its goals.
However, when the state interest is morality itself, as in the instances of porn or gay marriage, there is an obvious problem: what is the origin of the government’s moral standard? In the case of gay marriage, the source is certainly not public opinion, since polls show that 58% of Americans now believe that gay marriage should be permitted.
Since it is a fallacy of rationale to site a moral edict as the reason for the edict itself, those against gay marriage focus their arguments on the protection of children.
However, the problem with the argument is that there is no evidence that heterosexual couples do a better job of raising children. Thus, it seems to be a backdoor suggestion that gay marriage exposes children to immorality.
The individual interest, on the other hand is compelling. The very personal matters of love, sex, and commitment free from the legislature’s gaze are all at stake here -- not to mention equal treatment under the law.
The legal basis of permitting gay marriage, once it is separated from morality, is clear.
***
I find porn to be disgusting and harmful to relationships. I believe The Bachelor degrades marriage; and I think cheating spouses are cowards. However, I don’t expect Hustler or sleazy reality shows to be banned; nor do I want cheating spouses to be put in jail.
I do not want restrictive laws that erode people’s rights, but I also do not want America to degenerate into Sin City.
So if the law is not the proper means, how should we as a society deal with morality?
The founders have separated church and state with good reason, but they have also provided a safeguard to keep our country on a moral path.
Free speech.
Our responsibility as citizens is to express our opinions about right and wrong. More importantly, each one of us must strive to embody the love, compassion and understanding that are the bases of all moral codes. We should allow others freedom to be who they are and believe what they will, instead of constraining them with our own subjective moral bonds.
***
In Gone Baby Gone, the detective and his girlfriend were both wrong, not because of their opinions, but because of their lack of understanding of the other’s. They forgot that while values may differ true morality is found in the love and respect we give one another despite those differences.
My friend from the pizza parlor and my conservative Catholic friend have both reminded me of an important moral lesson.
Love is right.
True love, no matter what form it takes, must be honored.
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